Getting Better In Spite Of What I Think

I noticed the other day that I was getting better…not a lot better, but better. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m no where near perfect or anything. Those who know me know that isn’t going to happen anytime soon. Those who don’t know me need to know that one of the reasons I write as I do is because God told me to be honest as possible about my own struggles.

Now let me confess something: Not only am I getting better, part of me is not altogether happy about it. Part of me didn’t choose to get better. Frankly, that part of me likes to sin. That part of you does too.

That part of me (and of you) is the leftover tendencies in my soul-mind that accumulated from influences of the world, the flesh and the devil.

We don’t sin because sinning is so unattractive or because sinning lacks certain short-term gratifications. Are you crazy? We sin because that part of us likes to sin, because sinning is attractive and because sinning is…well…uh…sort of fun. We Christians don’t like to admit that part of us likes to sin. It is far more spiritual to be horrified by sin and to condemn it with our nose turned up and our peacock, self-righteous feathers flying in the breeze. But if sin were not attractive to some part of us and didn’t have its compensations, nobody would sin.

The truth is that if we got our “payback” at the point of the deed, nobody would ever sin and everybody would be righteous. There are exceptions to that, I suppose, but mostly we sin because part of us likes to sin…and you know it’s true.

As I was saying, I’m getting better and, believe it or not, I CAN’T HELP IT! The whole “getting better” thing sort of snuck up on me. I was doing something else and, all of a sudden, I realized that I was loving people I didn’t want to love, being obedient in places where I didn’t want to be obedient and showing compassion for people when I didn’t have time to show compassion.

What if I decided to make a New Year’s resolution? What if I resolved to be worse? What if I said I was going to sin more next year? I’m going to be more selfish, more ego-centered and more disobedient?

Now, that’s a different New Year’s resolution!

Tell your pastor and all your friends about how you have resolved to be worse this year than last and watch their faces. Announce to your Bible study group that you’re tired of this obedience thing and have decided to just not do it anymore…and they’ll treat you like a wet shaggy dog shaking himself at an outdoor wedding party.

Just kidding – sort of.

But let me tell you something important: EVEN IF I MADE THAT RESOLUTION, I COULDN’T KEEP IT. Yes, if I really, really tried, I COULDN’T DO IT.

Do you know why? Because of Jesus. It’s Jesus! It’s all His fault! I can’t be as bad as a part of me wants to be because of Him living in me and forever joined to my human spirit.

Through much of my life, I may have been saved, but I didn’t really know Christ was a living part of me (Galatians 2:20). Then this truth was driven home to me.

Jesus keeps forgiving me and turning me around when I really mess up. He keeps loving me when I’m pretty unlovely. He keeps hugging me when I’m angry. He keeps blessing me when He really shouldn’t. He told me that if I never got any better, He would love me just the same and would never leave me.

He is so in love with me that sometimes I feel a little embarrassed.

Then I looked and found, to my surprise, that I was becoming more like Him. Paul’s comment that we are crucified with Christ and that we still live with Christ living in us (oh, that wonderful Galatians 2:20!) is quite true…and it’s true even if part of us doesn’t like it.

When I found this out, I didn’t really make any big commitments. My commitment was to let Him do His work in me – in spite of my obstinate parts. And when I was temporarily attracted to sin (and we all are), I knew that my relationship with Him was not broken, but only “bruised”. He has promised to always bring me back into God’s way.

It may be my age, but I really don’t think so. I think it’s that I’ve been hanging out with Jesus too long.

So since Christ won’t let me resolve for the New Year to be worse and to sin more, I JUST WANT TO ANNOUNCE THAT I WILL GO ON GETTING BETTER AND BETTER – IN SPITE OF MY LEFTOVER MIND GARBAGE! HE WILL TAKE CARE OF THAT!

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